Many people have heard of the importance of body language in business and social situations, but even more specific attention should be given to what your hands are saying, according to Etiquette Author/Consultant Barbara Pachter.*

Whether interviewing for a job or negotiating with a service provider, you should be aware of these most common hand messages and gestures:

• Keep your hands close to you. If they invade another person's personal space, it can be perceived as aggressiveness
• Do not place your hands on your hips. It will seem either aggressive or arrogant.
• But - If you place one hand on your hip, it's suggestive of openness and can be perceived as flirty.
• Hands, be still! Do not twist your hair or jiggle coins in your pocket, or you may distract others who are talking.
• Keep your hands above your waist to convey confidence and strength. Do not put them in your pockets or make fists.
• Do not "speak with your hands." If you are a hand-talker, try to keep them motionless at least part of the time.
• If you are seated when answering a question, avoid steepling your fingers. This can be perceived as arrogant.
• Do not wring your hands, or it will seem as if you're in great discomfort.
• Use hand gestures carefully and sparingly when negotiating. You don't want to seem stiff and uncomfortable, but if you are too active, you may appear to be out of control.
• Keep your body "open" by resisting the urge to cross your arms.
• Clasped hands or one hand placed over the other can indicate humility and deference.
• If you are giving a presentation, point at your poster or graphic with the palm of your hand facing the audience. This gives the impression of being "open" and an authority.
• Don't inspect your fingernails while someone else is talking; it looks like you are bored or vain.
• And, finally - there's the handshake: too firm, and you look like you're trying too hard (and insensitive to others who may have pain in their hand); too limp, and it's the classic "cold fish;" just right, and you'll make a good impression all around. If in doubt, practice with a friend and ask for honest feedback.

*Barbara Pachter is a co-author of "New Rules @ Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead."

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